I'm not good at blogging

So...i've been busy? I know I suck at blogging. Partly because I am pretty sure that not one person reads it. Partly because I have a facebook account and I basically update it weekly. And partly because I just dont have time. OK Thats not entirely true. I am sure I waste countless minutes on the web reading cupcake blogs, parenting blogs, CNN, and of course, TMZ. I guess part of me wonders if anyone really cares what I have to say- even as I type this i find myself losing interest in what I have to say. Is that sad? Not to me it isnt. These days, its all about going through the motions- just get through the moment to get to the next moment. Again, not the best outlook overall, but if I am being honest, it is what it is. Its not to say I dont stop and smell the roses every so often. I try to capture little moments in each day, and preserve the memory somewhere deep in my mind. And hope the stupid mundane details of my everyday ongoings dont gobble it up. Its like that scene in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- where Jim Carrey is trying to hide Kate Winslet in his memories in hopes that the eraser people dont find her and take her away from his memory forever. So here I am...trying to hide my amazing little captured moments from the erases of the world- the bills, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, the crayon marks on the wall, and the like. These past 18 months have been much too dense to sum up in a word, a line, a paragraph or even a book. Lots of ups, sadly some pretty low lows...I've lost some, I've gained more, and I am still on the fence as to whether I've learned anything from it all. I am sure I have. I hope. Like I said- i am in the thick of it all...I'll have much to reflect on for years to come. But I wouldnt change one moment for another- even all the worry...it all comes from love

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